Pass And Current

2 years ago i was studying in seGi university college,
im in loved with a girl called pauline.
After my dad passed away, i decided to study in Stamford College Malacca because of pauline's parent wanted her to go back to her hometown.
That was my fault, for making a decision because of a girl,
but anyway i studied there properly. My brother gave me money on the first month to study. No more on the following month.. I survive for few weeks, i worked in cinema.
Everyday no money eat roti.. until i really cant bare anymore.
i went back to kedah, decided not to study anymore.
Until today, i came back to study.
BUT then one of them said
1 : sometimes i'm freaking mad at you, sometimes i feel sorry for you.. you have no sense of direction and you do not know where to go..

Me : Mad for what? Sorry For what? lol.. If my last 2 chances was my wrong path in live which makes u unable to trust me, Its ok bro.. Well.. i got no Comment at all. Just that.. HOpe u wud Enjoy ur life~ ^^ Take Care bro.. lets dun talk about it.. =)

but He continued talk about this.
1 : after so much money you have wasted (dun forget a portion belongs to me) how could i not be mad? now that you're down and have no control of your life how could i not feel bad?
I'm certainly enjoying my life at this point, or a big part of it, there is one part of my life however that i'm enjoying.. which is you.

Me : Yea, A Portion Belongs To you. I remember. Dont worry. I wud pay back that sum of money to you.. I dont really like to Owe people money.. One Day.. i wud.
Now That Im Down And Have no control Of my life, Why do u have to feel bad about it? Even me myself didnt feel bad about it. Because I believe in Fate. I believe In Myself. Even Sometimes I feel Im Lost, But i keep finding Direction. i keep asking myself, why does this happens? i found the answer, Im easy being distracted. But i Wud always keep myself changing to something almost perfect. Eventho people wud disrespect me with the things i did. but i dun even mind. Because i feel that, i live in my own world, who other people doesnt even know what im doing, nobody ever tries to understand... and i dont need people to understand. I belongs to nobody, and i Belongs to myself living in my world Alone.
Im Happy to hear that you Enjoyed ur life bro.. 我会祝福你快乐平安过日子 ＝） thanks for your care..

This is it. Enjoying life. because of me? LOL! Wtf, what does it means?

Another one say

2 : Are u going to sell ikan bilis forever?
Me : yeah? i got a good connection here tho..
2 : think about it. think about ur future
After a moment,
Me : i decided to go back study
2 : We got financial issue can only support u rm500
Me : ah, Okay.. understand.
after a moment,
Me : im going to add 2 subjects into my study
2 : Sorry we can only support u RM500. we got Financial problem
me : i didnt asked u to pay, i just want ur advice.

The Third one

3 : i can only help u alil bit, im not working
me: Its ok, i understand!! Lol come on..
[ Everyday i called her ]
Me : What chu doing?
3 : Playing Mahjongg.. Call u back later
[ Everyday repeating the same thing ]
Beh guai.. =D Love it.

The first part was my wrong. But there is no second chance in life? YES THERE IS.
But give me chance to study and leave me half stuff half hungry. That my Lovely family.

i should have hate them since i was small, im so fucking regret for treating them as my brother and sister.
Well.. This is life,
Not The People out There treats us materialistic, BUT even family has no different with the others.

So Guys, Remember. Take care of ur stomach first before anyone else. Dun be like me.
=]
Night.
Ps : I hate my FuckinG FamilY